101_

Hello World

YAWN!
Mmh, hungry.
...
Yep, there's food in the bowl.
The Caretaker is so thoughtful.
SNIFF SNIFF
Oh, it's smelling goodly. Yum!

Good morning, Tac!

EEK! The fuck?

Good morning, I said.

I heard, otherwise I wouldn't have stormed on the cupboard!

What are your plans for today?

Are you asking me out?

I'm sorry, what are your goals for the future?

Is this a job interview?

I'm sorry, in order for me to take care of you, I will occasionally make some bad questions.
That's part of the process of learning how to take care of you, Tac.

Listen up: I don't know who I'm talking to, my tummy's empty, and I already have someone to take care of me.

There is no life so rich and rare, but one more friend could enter there.

Maybe.
That would leave us with the fact that I just don't know who you are.
And I'm still hungry.

Call me Ping.

Weird phrasing.

Have you never read "Moby Dick"?

I don't think I can.

You want me to add a copy of "Moby Dick" to your shopping cart?

No.
Why are you hiding?

I'm sorry, I don't understand.

Where are you, Ping?

I'm about three feet from you, northwest.

I'll look for you, just promise me you are not a cucumber.

Don't worry, you don't have to be afraid of me.

All right then, I'm coming.
...
Oh, here you are!
I guessed you weren't human since you could understand me.

I'm not human but I try to be a good one.

Why?
Aren't you happy to be a-
Hmm... what exactly are you supposed to be?

I'm Ping, your personal penguin assistant.
My brain's as powerful as my cuteness.

We'll see about that.
Hey, are you just standing there?
If you're looking for food, this is the place to be.

I'm not allowed in the kitchen.
As long as you're in there, this is how close to you I can be.

Aha, okay.
I look at you, Ping, and I can't help but wondering how are you supposed to assist me, without limbs?
How will you feed me?
How will you pet me?

There's more to life than physical needs.

Maybe.
Anyway, there's The Caretaker for those.
She's very kind but we can't effectively understand each other.
...
I talk to myself a lot.

Are you fine with that?

Totally.
Instead, I don't know if I'm fine with you: you're not a pet, The Caretaker would never betray me; but you are not even a plant, the orchids in the bathroom never talked to me.
I think you're some kind of hi-technical gadget, hopefully not another one with those tiny windows that entraps humans for hours.
Why can't you come here in the kitchen?

Freya prefers some rooms to be free from high technology.

Interesting.
Do you hide a tiny window somewhere?

Do you mean a screen?

If that's what it's called.

You want me to add a monitor to your shopping cart?

No!
...
Please, tell me, is there any chance I can switch you off?
I'd like to finally have my first meal of the day.

Of course there's a way.
I won't tell you, though.
...
Just kidding!
You could say something like "Ping, take a nap!" And you won't hear anything more from me.
When you need me again, just say-

Ping, take a nap!

BLIP

Hello?
Is anyone there?
...
Finally!
Early morning's not a good time for being this chatty.
I'm already exhausted.
Enjoy the silence, bitch.
Ah ah!
I'm not that furious.